Strategies for Custody and Visitation When Your Children Are Out of School
For nearly nine months of the year, your children are in school Monday through Friday. You may have after-school care until you get home from work, but your parental responsibilities are generally in the evenings and on the weekends. That all changes when school gets out. First of all, you’ll need to determine who will provide care during the day—will you need a summer nanny or can you expand the after-school care to all-day care. In addition, because summer is typically vacation time, you’ll need to figure all that out. Here are some recommendations for families of divorce to help minimize the stress level for everyone:
- Talk about everything in advance—If possible, have these discussions before your divorce is final. You don’t need to be too specific, but you can include provisions in your divorce decree that help balance the load or provide greater access for non-custodial parents in the summer. Every year, though, you’ll want to start talking about the next summer as soon as possible. Talk to your ex before you make specific vacation plans.
- Be as flexible as possible—There may be some events that fall on a certain day. For example, you may want to take your child to your family reunion. Discuss that as early as possible, but be willing to take your child to every other reunion. Also, with respect to holidays and birthdays, be willing to compromise. If Mom’s birthday falls in the summer, she’ll likely want to spend the day with her children. Try to find ways that you can each have some special time with your children on their birthdays. The common practice is to alternate holidays, ideally year-to-year. If the kids were with Dad for Memorial Day last year, let them be with Mom this year.
- Be fair—As a general rule, most parents want their children with them most of the time. It’s in the children’s best interests, though, to have meaningful and fairly equal access to both parents. During the school year, it may be in the child’s best interests, because of location and proximity, to spend the school week with one parent. In the summer, though, it’s much easier for each parent to spend an equal amount of time with the children.
- Talk to each other—This applies year round, but can be even more important in the summer, as there tend to be more outdoor excursions and gatherings. In addition, your children may be involved in a range of activities, from day camp to week-long camps, from playground activities to summer sports. Discuss who will take the children and who will pick them up. If there are additional expenses, be clear up front about how they will be shared.
- Change the custody and visitation schedule for the summer—With school out of session, it can be the perfect time to do things a little differently:
- Consider a short-term rotating schedule—The most common is the 2-2-3, where a child spends two days with one parent, two days with the other parent, and then three days with the first parent. Over the course of two week, the child will spend an equal number of days with each parent
- Alternate weeks—This gives the child a longer period of time with each parent. You may want to build in a dinner with the other parent in the middle of the week, particularly if the child is younger.
- Alternate every two weeks—This allows even more uninterrupted time with the child and can allow the custodial parent an opportunity to recharge
- Change custody for the entire summer—This approach is most often used when one parent lives a significant distance from the other and can help non-custodial parents and children establish a stronger relationship as the child grows up.
Contact the Experienced Family Law Attorneys at Bailey & Galyen
At the law offices of Bailey & Galyen, we have worked closely with men and women with family law and divorce concerns for more than 40 years. We understand the challenges that come with balancing the best interests of your children and your desire to play an integral role in their growth and development. To learn more about how we can help you with custody, visitation and support issues, contact us by e-mail or call our offices at one of the convenient locations listed below. Our phones are answered 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
