Strategies To Avoid Conflict While Protecting Your Rights
It’s the holidays, the time of year when you most want to be with family. Unfortunately, when you’re divorced, and there are minor children involved, it can be difficult. Here are some ways to minimize conflict with your ex over custody and visitation during the holidays. In the final analysis, the less conflict you and your ex have, the better holiday season your children will likely have.
It All Starts With Communication
The more you talk about how custody and visitation will work during the holidays, the better the chances of everyone getting along. Additionally, the earlier you start talking about how to work out the holidays, the more options you’ll have and the more time each of you will have to accept and adapt to the agreed-upon schedule. You’re more likely to encounter conflict with last-minute changes, requests, or demands.
Look First to Your Custody Agreement
Custody and visitation during the holidays should be addressed in your divorce decree. That doesn’t mean that you can’t work with your ex to modify custody and visitation, but the court will not look favorably upon actions or demands that are contrary to your existing custody/visitation agreement. Ideally, your custody agreement is fair to everyone involved, including your children. That often means alternating holidays each year.
Be Flexible, Where Possible
Though your existing custody agreement should be your benchmark, there may be times when you can do things differently. Perhaps your ex has a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to travel at Christmas, to a destination that would offer a great experience for your child. See if you can swap Christmas this year and have your children the next two holiday seasons.
Or maybe your child will be involved in a program at the other parent’s church when you have visitation or custody. Be willing to let your child participate if it’s in their best interests and doesn’t interfere with your plans.
Remember That the Best Interests of Your Child Are Paramount
It’s more than a holiday sentiment—it’s the law. When you worked out your custody and visitation arrangement as a part of the divorce, you were required to give priority to the needs and interest of your child. If a change in custody or visitation is clearly in your child’s best interests, do it.
Acknowledge Family Traditions, If Possible
Within reason, do the best you can to honor and incorporate holiday traditions from both parents’ families. If Christmas Eve is traditionally the time your ex’s family all gathers, consider letting your child be a part of that. It can be a delicate balance, though, as everyone has holiday traditions, and they can often conflict.
Try Not To Air Disagreements Around Your Children
When conflicts arise, try to resolve them privately with your ex. If you air your grievances in front of your children, they’ll feel responsible.
Contact the Proven Divorce and Family Law Attorneys at Bailey & Galyen
At the law offices of Bailey & Galyen, we have aggressively protected the rights of people in divorce and family law matters in Texas and nationwide for more than 40 years. We understand how emotionally charged custody and visitation disputes can become. We will work hard to protect your rights as a parent while promoting the best interests of your minor children. Contact us by e-mail or call our offices. Our phones are answered 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
