Working With Your Ex to Manage Your Child’s Extracurricular Involvement
School starts soon, and your children are likely looking forward to participating in some of the fun extracurricular activities that are part of the educational experience. Working out all the details of your child’s involvement in sports, music, or other programs can be challenging in any instance, but it becomes far more complicated after a divorce.
Who gets to decide whether a child can join the band or go out for the football team, particularly when there are significant costs involved? What steps can you take to ensure that you have meaningful input into decisions about your child’s time commitments? What happens when a child’s extracurricular activities interfere with your time as a non-custodial parent?
The Concept of Legal Custody
When divorce proceedings involve minor children, the parties must come to some arrangement with respect to custody and visitation, known in Texas as “managing conservatorship” and “access.” Custody generally takes two forms:
- Physical custody—Physical custody refers to where the children physically reside. Traditionally, one parent has been granted primary physical custody—that parent is referred to as the “custodial” parent. The non-custodial parent is granted some rights of visitation, often every other weekend, alternating holidays, some time in the summer and perhaps one night a week. There is a trend, however, toward joint physical custody, where the children spend an equal amount of time with each parent. Determination of physical custody will vary depending on the circumstances of the case.
- Legal custody—Legal custody refers to the rights of both parents to participate in decision-making about the health and welfare of their children. Courts generally prefer that parents jointly make decisions about medical care, education, religious training, and extracurricular activities.
Tips for Managing Your Child’s Extracurricular Activities in a Divorce
Here are some strategies to help you prevent conflict over a child’s involvement in outside activities:
- Be proactive in discussing potential involvement with your ex—Don’t wait until your child wants to do something to discuss the matter. If your child is already participating in certain extracurricular activities at the time of your divorce, talk to the other parent about what you expect in the future, and try to come to an agreement about your level of involvement and the child’s level of participation.
- Encourage involvement, but be selective—Give your children permission to explore new activities, but set boundaries. It’s okay to tell your children that they can do only so many things.
- Let your children decide what interests them—If you push your child to do something that interests you, you’ll likely get resistance from them… and from your ex.
- Be mindful of the costs involved—Many extracurricular activities at school now come with a hefty price tag. It won’t help anybody if you try to force your ex to pay for something they can’t afford.
- Think about the time involved—To what extent will getting the child to and from the activity interfere with work commitments or other obligations? Will the activity take your child away from the non-custodial parent for significant periods of time during visitation?
Contact the Experienced Family Law Attorneys at Bailey & Galyen
At the law offices of Bailey & Galyen, we bring more than 40 years of experience to individuals and families across Texas, handling all types of concerns arising out of divorce. We know that coordinating your children’s time and activities can be challenging and we can help you put provisions in place that are in the best interests of your minor children, while protecting your rights. Contact us by e-mail or call our offices at one of the convenient locations listed below to set up a free initial consultation with a proven divorce and family law attorney. Our phones are answered 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
